Wednesday, April 27, 2005

 

We Are All Doomed

Update. Armando Benitez managed to rip three of his tendons completely. He will have to have surgery to repair them. The doctors are saying that he will be gone for at least four months.

There is really nothing to say. Benitez has meant so much to the Giants. He has been the real closer that the Giants have not had since 2002. No doubt, the team will be truly crippled, almost as crippled as Benitez is now. Tonight SBC Park is totally quiet, and Felipe Alou is sitting by himself in the dugout, staring blankly into the fog and asking God why He could let this happen.

Jefferson 7:53 PM

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Hammin' It Up

I'm beginning to think that some power has it in for the Giants. Last night was a classic example of a Pyrrhic victory. The Giants got to add one to the number under "W" in the papers, but on the other hand, they added one to the disabled list too. Benitez pulled a hamstring, and is gone for at least 15 days.

Everyone has been afraid that too many Giants would end up on the disabled list. Now our fears are all coming true. First, the warranty on Barry Bonds' knees ran out. Since he's a 1964 Bonds, spare parts are pretty hard to find. The "pick your part" facilities for knees are strictly underground, and you have to have really good connections to get in. Since the feds have been rolling up Bonds' connections recently, I assume he doesn't have an in at the moment.

Moises Alou went down with a bad calf. He does this regularly every April. I can only assume that it is the result of an old war wound. Some very secret and very expensive pesticide, used only on major league ballfields, irritates the wound and causes it to inflame. Then his antibodies build up, and he's okay again. It is very odd, and deserves further investigation.

Now Benitez has blown out his right hamstring jogging from the pitcher's mound to first base. This is not a surprise. A man with his build should not be running anywhere. His doctors should limit him to a brisk walk, and prescribe a golf cart for long distances. Asking him to run is just stretching too many laws of engineering, not to mention fragile hamstrings.

I find all of this to be very suspicious. We should be calling for Tommy Lasorda's home and office to be searched by the authorities. Any evidence of voodoo, black magic, or SlimFast should be seized. It's more likely that any foul play is being performed by highly paid third parties, though. Lasorda is a smart man, and he will cover his tracks.

These are dark days for those of us who follow the Giants. The threat of Matt Herges closing out games again is rising. The threat of Barry Bonds taking the field again is falling. Ticket prices are up, attendance is down, and Duane Kuiper has grown a goatee. If that is not a sign that the devil has it in for us, then I don't know what is.

Jefferson 12:21 PM

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Friday, April 22, 2005

 

Calling Off The Posse

Well, I'll be damned. I guess the posse done put the fear of God in them Middle Relief Boys. I told you last post (eleven days ago, and I blame Bill Gates for the delay) that the bullpen had given up 20 runs in their first 17 innings. That's a 10.59 ERA for those scoring at home.

Since then, the bullpen has collectively turned into an All-Star reliever. Here are the stats for the relief pitchers* since my last post, 11 days ago:

33 IP, 25 H, 6 ER, 13 BB, 16 K, 1 HR

That's an amazing 1.64 ERA, with a very nice 1.15 WHIP.

In the spirit of giving credit where it's due, I tip my cap to the Giants' bullpen. You guys have been nails. It's not your fault that the team went 3-6 during that span.

*I'm excluding Jerome Williams' relief appearance in Colorado, because he's a starter, for crying out loud.

Jefferson 1:15 PM

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Monday, April 11, 2005

 

The Middle Relief Boys

17 innings. 20 runs.

That's the Giants bullpen this year.

I've heard a few guys on KNBR say that it's too early to judge the Giants' middle relievers, because it's only been 6 games.

Allow me to retort:

Tyler Walker: 63 2/3 IP, 1.46 WHIP, 4.24 ERA
Jason Christiansen: 36 IP, 1.67 WHIP, 4.50 ERA
Matt Herges: 65 1/3 IP, 1.70 WHIP, 5.23 ERA

These are the 2004 stats for these guys. Six games may not be enough to make some judgments, but six games plus a whole season probably is. (I didn't list the 2005 stats for these three, but they're worse. Far worse.)

Jefferson 11:23 AM

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Saturday, April 09, 2005

 

Giants 10, Rockies 8

I'm sure a lot of folks wondered why Felipe Alou let Noah Lowry come out to pitch in the 7th inning last night. Sure, Lowry was throwing a shutout. It was his first start of the season, however, and he had already thrown 100 pitches. Wouldn't you want to bring in the bullpen and not overwork him so early? Six-run lead, no problem.

Oh, wait. This is the Giants bullpen we're talking about. If they don't suddenly improve--and really, after last year why would you expect them to--Alou will be forced to keep his starters in until their shoulders spontaneously combust. You just can't trust this bullpen (Benitez and Fassero excepted, for now). Even last year's more reliable guys, Brower and Eyre, are inconsistent at best.

Bah. I'm going to repeat that rant about 100 times this season. Let's move on.

The left side of the infield continued to perform at the plate last night. Alfonzo and Vizquel combined to hit 5-for-9 with a double, a home run, and 5 RBI. Keep it up, boys, we're gonna need it. Jason Ellison, Mike Matheny (batting .308, and damn the sample size), and Pedro Feliz each contributed two hits. J.T. Snow came off the bench with a vital pinch-hit in the bottom of the ninth.

And of course, Marquis Grissom, the calmest man in professional sports, wins the game with a beautiful line drive that skipped off the top of the fence and into the sunset. Then, with a quick tip of the cap and a quiet "Ma'am," Marquis jumped on his white horse and trotted off to a swell of orchestral music. A crowd of happy Giants citizens ran after him, waving and cheering and throwing their hats in the air.

The sherriff and the hangman, on the other hand, were forming up a posse to get the infamous Middle Relief Boys.

Stay tuned.

Jefferson 10:14 AM

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Friday, April 08, 2005

 

Grab Your Snorkels...

...because we're going down.

To the DL, that is, for 15 days. And by "we" I mean "Moises Alou." Uh, and by "15 days" I mean "a seeming eternity," and if you're the Giants, right now "DL" means "Division Last Place," because that's where you are right now.

If you saw last night's Giants game--a 6-0 snoozer of a loss to the Dodgers--you saw what your Giants are going to look like for the bulk of April. Ugly. Punchless. Limp.

Somebody is going to have to step up big time and carry the Giants on their backs for a couple of weeks. Problem is, there's no one who can really do that. I'm willing to be proved wrong, though. Maybe Fonzie can have a whole month hitting .455 and spark some rallies? Nah, I don't think so. I think the best we can hope for is treading water, and maybe matching last April's disappointing 10-14 start. Remember, that was enough to keep the team in the hunt the rest of the year.

But last year, the Giants needed a healthy Bonds just to get to 10-14. This month, with no Bonds, no Alou, and a shaky batch of middle relievers, they could easily fail to win 10 games.

I think this where I say, "Hey, it couldn't possibly get any worse, could it?"

Jefferson 4:14 PM

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Tuesday, April 05, 2005

 

Homecoming Gift

Today has been a choppy day. At work, my building is cut off from the rest of the company's network because an old Aironet wireless bridge has crapped out. I sure wish the IS manager there would get that sorted out. (Oh wait, that's me!) Because of that snafu, as well as a scheduled plumbing service on our apartment, I was forced (ahem) to telecommute today.

That's why I was able to watch today's Opening Day broadcast on Fox Sports Net Bay Area. Er, Fox Sports West 2? Why was Vin Scully on my TV? It turns out that FSN Bay Area's control truck caught fire an hour before the game. Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper couldn't broadcast! Therefore, FSN gave us the Los Angeles feed. Unless it was Kruk & Kuip's audio with the LA video. Or just 10 minutes of commercials when nothing worked right at all. It was a mess, but by the 5th inning it resembled a normal broadcast. Hell, at least my infrastructure problems don't go out to a million viewers!

The game itself was a typical, classic Dodgers-Giants tilt. Jason Schmidt decided to add drama early on, leaving his second pitch up for Cesar Itzuris to yank into the arcade in right field. That just seemed to piss Schmidt off, so that was the only run I saw him give up all day. (The Dodgers' scored again during that 10-minute commercial break.) His command was not all there, but it didn't need to be. He mixed his change in when he had to, and he had the Dodgers swinging at shadows, striking out nine against only two walks.

On the good side of the field, some skinny guy wearing Edgardo Alfonzo's uniform came to hit. Number 12 tied the game in the fourth with a line drive that reached the left field bleachers.

After that, it was a tight game until the Dodgers decided to just let the Giants win. Two hideous, gasping errors--that is to say, the kind of defense we expect from the Dodgers--gave the Giants two more runs. That would be enough for Schmidt, who turned the ball over to a brilliant Scott Eyre after seven innings.

The top of the ninth was a mini-classic all by itself. For the first time, new Giants closer Armando "Please Don't Suck Like Herges" Benitez took the mound...and promptly gave up a single up the middle to Jeff "Don't I Look Good In Blue" Kent. Hearts began to palpitate; stomach acid began to churn. Steve Finley's shadow loomed in the visitor's dugout. Cody Ransom, at shortstop, began to wonder what the hell he was doing back in a Giants uniform.

But wait! That wasn't Steve Finley, it was Milton Bradley. And it wasn't Cody Ransom at short, but The Flying Omar. Bradley grounded to Durham, who underhanded the ball to Omar. Jeff Kent came flying in like a truck with bad brakes. No way Omar would be able to make that throw, I thought. Then Omar leaped about 3 feet straight into the air, legs splayed, and threw a bullet from midair to complete the double play. Seriously, if I tried to jump like that, you'd need to call an ambulance. Two down, bases empty, crowd stoked.

Then J.T. Snow put an exclamation point on the proceedings. Valentin hit a wicked grounder that seemed like it would ricochet over J.T.'s right shoulder. Instead, J.T. flashed that Gold Glove and snared it. A quick trot to first, and the Giants had themselves a victory.

It's been a great season so far.

Note: Grant over at McCovey Chronicles will be hosting daily game chatters over at his site. There's where I'll be this season, posting comments in real time. Really, you can't ask for better or cheaper service. Head over there tomorrow night, and let's see if we can crush Grant's server.

Jefferson 5:42 PM

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