Friday, December 03, 2004

 

Barry, Meet Bubba

It was the Clintonisms that did it...

Bonds also was quizzed about a document that said, "Barry 12-2-02, T, 1 cc G - pee."

A prosecutor asked, "Does that correspond to you getting, you know, growth hormones or testosterone or giving a urine test or anything of those things that you can recall from Mr. Anderson."

"T could mean anything," Bonds replied. "G could mean anything. And pee could probably mean anything."

--Chronicle article

"It depends on what the meaning of the words 'is' is."

-- –Bill Clinton, during his 1998 grand jury testimony on the Monica Lewinsky affair

Reading through the Chronicle article last night, I was struck by how Bonds and Clinton approached the grand jury in similar ways. Two very smart people, sensing a witch hunt, and trying to talk circles around the people who were questioning them.

The problem is, that just never works. Evasiveness just makes people think you're guilty, not that you're smart. Evasiveness makes people think that you don't want to stop whatever you're covering up. Yes, covering your ass is the true national pasttime, but there's a time and a place to just knock that shit off. That place is called a federal grand jury.

When you're as smart as Bonds or Clinton, playing dumb just doesn't work. No one's going to believe it. Even dumb people can tell that you're smart, and that you're faking the ignorance. Dumb people are smart that way. Problem is, smart people are dumb in thinking that their non-denial denials, their evasion, their circumlocutions, actually work.

You know what's really stupid about all of this? Barry doesn't need to dodge anything. Are the fans going to shun him because he used steroids? No. The fans don't care. Barry could have just said "Yeah, I did it. I let things get out of control. The pressure of being on top led me to do stupid stuff, and I wish I hadn't done it." And he would have been a national hero, twice over. Instantly forgiven. The fans don't care if Barry's numbers are inflated, but they DO love a reptentant sinner.

What the fans don't like is when you treat them with contempt. When you believe they'll buy your act (see "Sosa, Sammy"), or if you act like you don't care if they do or not. The fans don't care if you don't like the media. The fans don't like the media either. But the fans can see through crap like never having heard of EPO and these other performance enhancers. They know how fanatic you are about health, nutrition and fitness. They know you've heard of this stuff. Is it so hard to just say "I've heard of that stuff, but I have never used it?"

One more thing. Everyone knows the BALCO investigation is a witch hunt. The investigators hate Bonds' guts (read the April 2004 Playboy article), and wanted to bring him down. The pattern of leaks by the government to the San Francisco Chronicle is so blatantly illegal and wrong, that you can't interpret the investigation any other way. Victor Conte is going on national TV tonight to confess? During the same week that the Giambi and Bonds testimony is leaked? Give me a break. There will be no trial. The judge is going to throw the whole thing out because of the leaks.

And the investigators won't care. Because they got their guy. They got him in front of a grand jury and put him on the defensive, knowing they were going to leak it. Bonds knew they were going to leak it. But the feds knew Bonds is a proud, proud man, and would cover his ass. The feds knew he'd play the "unknowing" card, and the "never heard of it" cards, and that no one would believe a word of it.

Bonds got flat-out outwitted by the feds. It was dirty, dirty pool. But it worked.

I am a huge Barry Bonds fan. I have been since 1997, on the day the Giants clinched the division title. That was the day Barry was so happy to win, he jumped on the dugout and started celebrating with fans. It was the most pure, unscripted moment of Bonds' Giants career. I loved that Bonds, and I still do. I'm still going to cheer for him this year. But I'll always mourn what could have been.

Okay, time to take a breath. This entire post has concentrated on one man's disbelief that a smart guy tried to cover his ass. I haven't even touched on what I think about the usage, what it means to the Giants, what it means to baseball, and what it means to the record books. I'll tackle that in my next post, which may not be for a couple of days.

Jefferson 8:51 AM

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