Monday, May 03, 2004

 

Disaster!

Tonight's post is written under the influence of, or perhaps inspired by, the so-bad-it's-good NBC miniseries 10.5. When it comes to awful, this movie is Neifi Perez at the plate awful. Mispelling "martial law" as "marhsal law" awful. I mean, as the earthquakes are happening, there's someone in the earthquake center shouting out the increasing Richter scale in real time: "6.5! 7.4! 8.2!" Never mind how damn silly it is. I'm gonna start doing this every time Neifi comes to plate. Shouting out his OBP as it declines during a game will be tons of fun. ".255! .253! .250!!"

The Giants experienced a major temblor of their own the other day, a rupture in the "It's Pierzynski's" fault. As often happens after media disasters, the survivors rededicated themselves into focusing on what is really important in life--hitting. While Bonds went 0-for-3 (for the whole Fri.-Sun. weekend, mind you, with something like 55 walks), the rest of the team pounded out 27 runs, 39 hits, and 24 congratulatory dents in Brian Dallimore's helmet. The Giants managed to overcome a 7-run deficit on Friday and 2-run deficits on Saturday and Sunday. They managed to do what they couldn't do in October--beat the Marlins 3 games out of 4. They managed to not hit into any double plays.

It was, by all accounts, a terrific weekend.

Except.

You know how after a big earthquake, you jump every time a big truck drives by? Yeah, me too. Except in my case, it's every time a Giants starting pitcher takes the mound. During those 3 wins, the Giants pitchers gave up 20 runs, 28 hits, 4 balls that the Giants turned into errors, and any pretense of knowing just what the hell Jeffrey Hammonds is doing with that glove in right field. (Donations to the "I told you we should have kept Jose Cruz Jr." fund are gladly accepted.) The bullpen, on the whole, has been stellar, but Kirk Rueter is in a slump as bad as any he's ever been in.

Furthermore, the guys doing all the damage out there are the types who make the casual fan scratch their head and reach for their scorecard. Dallimore? Walker? No, not Kevin Walker, but Tyler Walker? Who? He's 2-0 with a 0.00 ERA, that's who. The regulars, or those who are supposed to be regulars, are still lagging. Tucker and D.P. Pierzynski are showing a few signs of life, but Durham's gone for who knows how long? This isn't a decent team coming around; it's a bad team that's had a good weekend. No team with an ERA of 5.46 is going very far, especially when 2/3 of its games have been played in the pitcher's haven known as Whatever They Name The Phone Company This Year Park.

Of course, I'm assuming that Sabean doesn't somehow shuffle Cy Young, Randy Johnson, Babe Ruth, and Roger Clemens into the starting rotation. As fast as he's shuffling the deck, I wouldn't be surprised by anything...

Tyler Walker? Are you sure?

Jefferson 9:08 PM

|