Saturday, September 20, 2003

 

Bring On The Marlins

I want the Giants to face the Florida Marlins in the National League Division Series.

I've given this a lot of thought. I've crunched a lot of numbers, weighed all the alternatives with a rational, objective, scientific eye, and run endless computer simulations of all the potential opponents. That wasn't much fun, so I asked myself instead: "If this were The Wrath of Khan, a really kickass movie, who would the Giants be facing?"

The Marlins.

For revenge.

Revenge for 1997.

Revenge against MLB for giving us "home field advantage" by having us play Games 1 and 2 in Miami.

Revenge against Livan.

Revenge against the idea that any freaking expansion team can win a World Series in four or five years, but the Giants have to wait for generations.

Revenge against that football stadium the Marlins play in.

Revenge against the idea that they're the "Florida" Marlins instead of the much cooler sounding Miami Marlins.

Revenge for how they ruined Brian Johnson's incredible home run in extra innings against the Dodgers that year.

Revenge for how they ruined Barry Bonds' kinetic celebration on top of the dugout at Candlestick (that was the moment I realized that Barry maybe wasn't the jerk the media said he was).

Revenge for Shooter not making it to the Series.

We nailed the Braves (for 1993) and the Cardinals (for 1987) in last year's playoffs. Now let's pay back those stinkin' fish!!

Jefferson 10:28 AM

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